rain delay

*deep sigh*

Why, why, do you keep on making your life difficult? I just cannot fucking understand... Call me a bad friend, if that's really what I am, but really... No one can't save you from yourself - I have tried and gosh, I have lost. You didn't even care, when I - fuck - tried to talk some sense into that lil' head of yours - no. It's so easy to ignore me - and that's just great. I'm so replaceable to you, but you aren't replaceable to me. Can't you understand that this your "suicide fly" anguishes me, although I try to push this feeling aside every fucking day. I'm not emotionless, even If I seem to be sometimes. I just have a hard skin, and you know why.

Thinks that you do, and thinks that you don't do anymore, makes me think how vulnerable I am, just because I CARE. Would it be better to just let you go?

Please. I really don't want to lose you in any way, but I just don't know what should I do. Nothing? It makes me sick to sit and watch when you play your role.

I'm so sorry, I probably shouldn't write this here...