So... Santra's cancer has returned. She has a medium sized node in her groins. She and my mum went to the vet today for sytostatic treatment and my mum said, that she will ask about the node there.... And my mum call'd me there... She said, that vet has took a sample of it. The results weren't good... Holy shit I'm crying all the time... Vet said, that it's useless to operate her again, because her tumor is so highly agressive, that it just would keep on growing back.
I don't want to lose her. I just don't. I cannot handle this fucking pain again. Why it's always your dog?! Few years ago I losed Peppi, and I'm still crying after her. She was even younger than Santra and got fucking rare meningitis which eated her brains. God, I miss her.
And don't u fuckin' tell me that they're JUST DOGS. They're part of my family. Now & ever.
I'm in work. Still I cannot thing anything but Santra... I could just cry... I hardly can breathe... FCK. I want to go to home. I want to save her... WHAT THE HELL I'M GONNA DO.
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