Blood on the (dance) floor.

... Correcting the last blog entry, I did saw Jonna on Friday! That's was so~ much fun, I laughed my butt off. XDD <3 Just gotta love her. She showed me her drawings, photos, we talked - a lot, and so on... ^^ We also sneaked to the upstairs to her lil' sisters room - and whoa, that girl is one amazing drawer!! :O Jonna's bunnies, Mortimer and Lucifer, were so adorable!!!! ^o^ Especially Mortimer! Shame, I didn't have my cam with me. :< I lefted her house at 22:03 pm and soon after that I was in my own bed - sleeping like a dead.

Today I woke up at 11:40am. I'm still sleepy. x___x I took Moira out asap and she hurted her paw somehow there - and it started to bleed! O.O I rinsed it with cold water and so on, but still, when she walks around the house, it lefts littlebit blood to the floor. :/ Poor baby. <3 We (me & my lil' sister Eini) also took Santra's bandage (which covered her surgery wound) off.

Sleeping deep in darkness.

I planned to see Joona tomorrow. Well. That's not gonna happen. FCK. Her bunny Mortimer is sick and she plans to take it to the vet tomorrow. Yeah. Of course that is more important thing to do, but I really would liked to talk to her. My head is - again - messed up! I don't know even why. Maybe M's troubles transfered into me or something. I really didn't sleep much at night. And that's was because of your "therapy session"; or can u call it that? We talked. Thinks that u don't talk too often, but yeah. I don't know what purposes that served - I wanted to know, because I cannot help ppl if they don't tell me, what's wrong. But that wasn't the problem last night. Uh. What's the name of this "empty" feeling inside? ... Hope that she feels better. ^^"

But day was "good" (Yaminade's CD came and so on). Even still if I feel emotionless and hollow. My problems, which are they? If someone would give me a gun, I really wouldn't doubt to use it. Pain would be good... At least that would be something.

Yesterday was nice. Yeah. Mitsuki's company totally resetted my brains. For couple of hours. Depp's movie "Public Enemies", which we went to watch, was nice. We also planned to go together into movies again - which is xtremely good idea! Btw, I want to get my eye-brown pierced.

Santra was in her third surgery yesterday. She's all-good now, lil' bit tired of course. All my love to her. <3

Freedom, for freedom~

Another picspam post, yeees~ Jonna said to me @ school "Why in the name of hell do u have the camera with u?!" Dunno! But here's the results of my "camera in the school day"! Tomorrow I'm going to Hell-sinki, and I'm planning to take the camera with me... ;)

I wonder when my voice goes. My throat doesn't seem to get any better and my voice goes deeper and deeper... Sometimes it even surprise me with smexy nasal! Horrible.


Umm, Jonna? XD She's was so cute but still she decided to hide behind her picture folder... And my puma bag, just gotta love it. <3


Jonna had to draw his "Diego guy" into my pocket calendar too, he's so hot~! Actually he looks like Matenrous's Yu lil' bit! *____* Shame, that's in Jonna's manga, he's a gay! :<


*giggles* Poor Samuli!


And finally emporium Sello with Mitsuki! ;D Going to see her again tomorrow~ Uh! And bunnies were call'd... Huppeli & Puppeli? XD

headache man.

Am I the only one who gets headache of this background? X'D I'm, besides, still feelin' ill. My throat kills me! <<

AD/HD day @ school!

Yeah. Just plain finnish classroom. Booooring~


These are results of day's hard work! There's Diego (Jonna's own manga guy) and Kanon from An Cafe drawed into my arm! XD ... Don't ask!




... XDD These pics of Jonna (my honeyhubbledarling) explain everything! *laughs*


My lip piercings. I took these piccies week (or) two ago.

Q: What does your zodiac sign say about you?

Ruling planet: Mars
Lucky stone: Ruby, diamond
Lucky color: Red
Element: Fire
Character: Leader
Self-confident
ambitious
honest
spirited
adventurous
dynamic
enthusiastic
born leader
magnetic personality
pioneer
talented
spontaneous
fearless
assertive
daring
critical
full of life
short-tempered
idealistic
supercharged
fiery
passionate
reckless
impetuous
honourable
combustible
inflexible
self-seeker
envious

Quoting some sites:
"It's my way or no way - could be Your motto"
"You often leap before you look"
"In dangerous situations, you are the first to risk your life"
"Issues are generally black and white to you, and once you decide on something, you stick to it"
"Your sex drive is very strong and you are quite aptly, extrovert"
"You care little about the past, preferring to seek new avenues into the future"
"Your anger is short-lived; once the fire is put out, it will not reignite"
"You believe that when something needs to be done, it should be done right away, in a certain way, and you can't understand why anyone should be slow or difficult about it"
"Your natural aggressiveness is both commendable and dangerous"
"Your ideal mate is someone who lets you win a hard-fought battle"

Sick N' tired. Or just plain tired.

Jonna wasn't in school today. I felt so lonely. << Snif. And M (pronounce that in finnish u get "ämmä" and translate that to english = bitch, LOL. Fits? Sometimes.) "barbaricly forced" me into same japanese course with her: she made me call Espoo's Adult Education Centre's telephone service because I wasn't in the comp when internet reservations were done - and she could't but me there (believe me, she tried) because she didn't know my social security number!! And of course there (in Espoo's Adult Education Centre's telephone service) answered one old grandmama which didn't know how to spell zenith either dopehat (and before that I queued for 10 minutes)! She asked my e-mail so she got it...! After all! >o< Well. Happily ever after? No. That's course costs 59€. Huh~

Me, my mum and lil' sister went to IKEA after school. I FINALLY bought myself a bookshelf for my CDs and stereos!! *o* Now I had to "only" pile it up. And oh my, they were selling those overly cute japanese minitrees, what do u call them? I forgot already but I wanna have one of them! <3 ... Bonsai tree! I'm so gonna post piccies of that shelf when it's ready and filled with my dearies (= CDs)!

Ando~ I'm goin to movies with Mitsuki-kun! <3 (I'm feeling so "ernu/poser" right now - when using the "kun" I mean) It's sooooo nice to see her again! U can't never have too much friends, especially when U don't have as much them as U would like... Hopefully that chances sometime.

On thursday I will go to the optician. Again. To get contact lenses. Again.

Manabu diaries!!! SCREW post.

*_____________________*
AND I THOUGHT THAT PSC WOULD RAPE HIS LOOK (since he looked so damn hot in KAIROS)!! *takes n' rapes*


Kazuki is cute too, but hey, I want his red hair back!!! >____< And. I really don't like that much Byou's new hair style! Blondes good, but... Yuuto doesn't look himself at all (or is just me?) and Jin looks like narcotic. Too much black make-up on his eyes.


Snif that smexiness. :'<

Dentist day.

I didn't sleep at night at all - whole time I thinked my time to dentist: which I had today at 09:45 am. Huh. They drilled sooooo fuckin' long my tooth that I tought that soon there's no more tooth to drill! >.< Hrrr. I hate dentists!! ... But hey, I survived since I'm writing this!

And my throat is still sore - and it's working day tomorrow. Thanks to god my mum is in same shift with me. ^^ I think, I should go to sleep early today. We'll see what happens.

I also want to see Depp's movie Public Enemies! Anyone coming to movie with me? ^o^ I'm gonna get money friday (payday), so I thought I should be doing something nice with my friend(s) or family someday soon - and the movie should be it. ^^

Feelin' ill.

My throat feels raspy and my shoulders are sore. And huh, I'm tired as hell! Am I gonna have pig influenza?! -___- Well. Yes or no, it doesn't matter. In fact, it would be fun to just stay in home and do nothing! I'm so full of working N' school! And when u but them together = strict NO. Working after schooldays is pure torturement - I do not recommend (unless u want premature burn out).

I don't find stylish rusty brown-earthtone curtains anywhere! >.< I want to have Safari/African-style bedspread, but but but curtains fit to it is hard to find.

Arc (... or Argh?) new look! *__*

KO-JI (2nd from left) looks soooooo good!! *o* Hopefully their new single is as good as pic promises! ;D Uh, and this is another random post, me knowz, but this was a must!! Arc is one of many "misunderstood and talented" japanese bands in this world - they just don't get enough attention from jrock-listeners ("ernus/posers" don't bother *shakira*, stay away - or I bite!). >___<

But fine, I keep the guys myself (at least KO-JI & Toshiya). <3 *shrugs*

(( Daisy, u will like them someday! >o< *shakes fist* NOTE: She made a post of AWOI guys - not Arc dearies!! This tells u something about her musical taste, neh~! And now u all know, how mission impossible this is (to get her into Argh, I mean)! *insert girugamesh here*))

Tattoo N' monitor.

Random post since I'm bored. ;D

I finally bought myself a new monitor! AND WHOA! This is like huuuuuge if compared to my old one! O.O Takes time to get used to it. Resolution is 1920x1080 if I remember right (nice jrock wallpaper are hard to find for this resolution, would someone make me some?). It's full HD so I'm planning to link it to my DVD-player...



I want to get a tattoo so badly. And contact lenses! I'm going to optician in this month (if they don't have free times which suit to my schedule -> next month), watch me! And I already have plans for the tattoo... ;)

Second day in school - and already tired of it.

Yeah, my school year didn't start as well as I planned - I'm already exhausted: this morning I didn't want to wake up at all... But hey! At least I saw Jonna again! ^o^ We didn't see each other in summer at all, because of my stupid summerjob, and she was travelling, like 24/7, around Finland. But it's extremely good to se her again. <3 She's such a sweetie! What can I say, once in a lifetime friend? Yeah. I hope that she will stand by me forever. Cliché? And I met "Daisy" too. Odd is pro adjective to describe her! I don't have even a smallest idea what's going on her head. Or do I? But do I need to? HELL I WANT TO KNOW! But. Yeah. This is timeless subject for me. ;P *wnbpsychologist*

Other thingies... Hmmm~ My bro Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna are here - for over night stay. They're gonna go to the Tallinn tomorrow (note: me wanties too!!). Now they're wathing movie with my mum and lil' sister. Since I don't like that movie, I decided to come to the comp.

AND GOOD NEWS! Santra's cancer haven't been spreaded on anywhere else (it's on lymph nodes still so it can spread anytime...)! *___* I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY! Now she's going to another operation (they're taking off some mammary glands) and then she's going to have the cytostatic treatments. Huh~ Something good in my life.

Here's Sujk (He's mine, u may say anything: it doesn't chance that fact that I saw him first!!... LOL, so childish.) from Two Hurt PV.



And other guys (Leda is my guy number two so... Beware, he may bite! Grau~)





And pic one more! <69



Nega's new album is, btw, awesome! <3 I'm loving "In the shadow of the rain cloud" *feels emo*. I bought the version with PV. Which gets me to video... Gosh,l that's one hell of kind PV! Jin is so cuuuuute with only lil' bit of make-up! :D And Ray's arms...!!! *o* Holeyshit may I say! *falls in those supersmexy arms & dies happily*

How to spend the "day off"!

Somethingsomethingcantusee...!

Okay. First. "Reiska's dear loved wife" (M) was here for "one night only". Yep. We talked. For two days - almost. Yep. And she infected me with her sneezes, fleas and... What was the last? Oh yeah, tiredness!! How mean.

Andooo...~ I don't remember what to say/write. Uh. So me. But hey! I'm not sad now. U know? I bet everyone see that. Huh. Uuu, uuu! And I got yesterday my giru's single BORDER - and today the mail man bringed my D=OUT's and Vani;lla's Nise Culture! Gonna post some Vanilla piccies now! It's a must: they're soooooooooooooo cute in it! *insert plenty of giggles by me & Reiska's dear loved wife*

SHIRU PRESENTS: VANI;LLA!

CHAOS BABY!!


Importing Kru (Reiska's dear loved wife's man... Uh, she's such a whore!! Poor Reiska, may someone comfort him? Oh u Ruki? Alright... *doubts*).


... I'M COMING IN TOO!


Akito says hi to all the dorks in the world! How nic... nise!


Leggies! ;D


Akito's supasweet smile! <3


Baby-Maro goes to sleep now~


Gathering to grope Maro's leg... How gay? LOL. :DD <3


Vell spankin' Maro... Oh yesh! That's the way!


Akito looks horny! *___* May he gotted the idea of this... session?


... Rapin' Akito (YEAH, GET THAT SHIRT OFF!!)


And "the rape" continues...


Even Yu~na helps to bury Akito with waste bags (and he desperately tries to cover his ass... Poor man, may I comfort him? *grin*)!


What do u whisper to him, Maro...? Dirty lil' secrets?


Since it made Yu~na smile! <3


*smiles and dies happy - never + smacks Reiska's DLF because she won't answer in the msn*

Rooibos tea N' whining.

Okay. My day has been terrific. Everything makes me downhearted and that's not really me - Santra's disease eats me inside. This is like flashback from my former dog's (Peppi) death... I holded her in my arms when she was put to eternal sleep. I didn't eat for week after that. And. I now really would like to just sleep. Sleep for days, weeks, years... Can I be ill instead of Santra? That would make things easier.

But hey guys. Rooibos tea is goood~ Today I have drunk two different kinds of it; the flavours call'd "Cream Caramel" and "Strawberry Cream". Yum~

Uh, and my summerjob ended 2th of August!! Sadly I'm still doing some "fill-ins" there: tomorrow I'm going to morning shift (7-14). Ugh. -___- I hate to wake up at 06:00 am, but my family needs every cent to Santra's treatments so I don't have choice.

Imaginary friends.

Yeah, my so called friends are, with no doubt, some that u can call "imaginary friends"... *shows middlefinger* That's for them! Okay, not for J (or "Mitsuki"), she's such a sweetie - if I had contacted her, she would have listened and comforted me. But no. I didn't even txt to her. It's obviously nicer to be emo and cry your eyes out... Right. That's just me - or not.

Sadie's song "imaginary creatures" fits perfectly for this situation.

Photo:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sindesign/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Santra. <3

I started this day crying and I'm crying now. My mum & sister took Santra to the vet in this morning - for stitch removal... And the pathologists & blood tests results had finally arrived there; Santra's cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. So... Nothing saves her now. FCK. Why does this always happens to me - us.

She's (Santra) going to 13.8 the Veterinary Teaching Hospital in Helsinki to have some cytostatic treatment, but even that treatment will not cure her; the treatment can only make her live longer and thats MAYBE.